MY WEIRD DREAM/NIGHTMARE
June 29, 2020
This house down the lane is just like our house, the exact same model with the exact same appointments, only it’s laid out in a mirror image from ours, a complete reverse of my house.
Obviously, to a person like me with a percolating imagination, a house that is a Bizzaro-World mirror image of my house is a point of interest for me.
Three sets of people have lived there over the years. First was the young couple who built the house back around the turn of the century. They didn’t last too long. The next was an older couple who, year after year, maintained the exterior of the house in a pristine condition–spotless siding, fresh paint, and a thick green lawn such that a golf course might envy.
And then the house sold again, this time to several generations of a Nepalese family. We often see them sitting out on their porch enjoying the evening. They seem like nice enough people, though we haven’t introduced ourselves yet.
We walk our dog, Bella, every evening. Being a rambunctious Boston Terrier, she’s full of spit and vinegar, and if you don’t drain some of that excess energy off, she’ll go on a rampage–Bostons tend to do that. So, there we were out in the evening haze walking Bella past the above-mentioned house. The occupants were outside as usual, their children drawing colorful images in chalk on the sidewalk, trying to forget about the summer humidity. I noticed their garage door was open–not all the way, though. It was open about three quarters of the way. Inside the garage, I could see their grandmother sitting inside the garage in a centrally-placed chair. She’s a tiny woman, probably not even five feet tall, wearing colorful ethnic clothing, her hands placed neatly in her lap.
From our vantage point on the sidewalk and from the height of the partially open garage door, I could see all of her body sitting there, except for her head, the bottom of the door cut neatly across it. To me she appeared headless, and, with me being a writer and such, all sorts of story ideas went back and forth across my mind.
And then my dream …
That night I had a dream of myself making a batch of Pan de Polvo to give to the people living in the house as a housewarming gift. Pan de Polvos are little cookies that are popular in Mexican culture–sometimes they’re known as Mexican Wedding Cakes. My grandmother used to make them by the pound back in the day. They are very light, airy cookies that taste of butter and cinnamon–my wife loves them. So, in my dream, I made a batch, dusted them in sugar, plopped them in a tin and walked over to give them to the folks.
There they were, standing outside in the heat, once again the garage door was partially open, once again the grandmother sat in the middle of the garage and once again the bottom of the door cut through her neck, obscuring her head. As I offered them my name and the tin of cookies, they directed me to speak to their grandmother. I stepped forward, lowered my head and entered the garage.
In my dreaming mind, the woman sitting inside truly had no head. She sat there on an elemental stalagmite as if she hadn’t moved for ages. The orderly interior of the garage transformed from drywall and concrete to swampy and stagnant. The colorful clothing I had thought she was wearing were actually scaly appendages of an ancient body. At her neck was a gaping, stinking maw lined with inward-facing teeth and hair all situated around a bulbous, semi-ovular, slime-covered globe that served as a rudimentary alien eye.
Things shot out. I was wrenched forward and summarily consumed in several painful bites.
So, that was my nightmare–just the sort of crazed situation I often come up with after seeing something mundane that catches my attention. If I’m going to dream something, I dream it big, crazy, supercharging “nothing” into a big deal.
copyright 2020, Ren Garcia
The 6th Turn: Kat
May 5, 2019
I’ve been wanting to narrative one on my books on YouTube for a long time, and I’ve finally gotten around to it. The book I chose to read is: Kat, the 6th Turn of the Shadow tech Goddess.
I chose to read Kat because I think it’s a pretty cool book. I put a lot of work into it and, of all my book, she gets the least activity at shows and cons because of her placement at the end of the Shadow tech Goddess series–people tend to want to start at the beginning.
So, every Saturday, I’m going to release one chapter at a time–I’m not a professional reader or voice talent, so I do my best.
copyright 2019, Ren Garcia
LOE Monsters: The Killanjo
April 11, 2019
The Killanjo started out life as “evil spirits“, conjured by certain people with the usual intent of doing harm. Lady Sammidoran, the heroine of the Temple trilogy, was, in the first draft, a Killanjo spirit whom Countess Sygillis captured and held prisoner in a bottle. I didn’t like the direction that storyline took, so a got rid of it, transforming “Sam” into a Monama instead.
The Killanjo also changed. I needed a really nasty, creepy, and just plain gross group of henchmen-style villains, so I turned them into the bleeding, skulking creatures they became.
Here’s what I came up with:
KILLANJO: A mythical creature that has, according to gossip, been plaguing Xaphan space for decades. A Killanjo is said to be a hideous corruption of a loved one: a son, daughter, brother or sister who is then turned loose upon their own families to create grief and chaos. Killanjo are said to be able to cast spells that render Elder-Kind helpless. It is also said a Killanjo cannot bear to see their reflection, one that does awakens from whatever spell they have been placed in and, unable to bear the horror of their own form, kill themselves.
As I love to hear myself talk, I did a short video on them:
copyright 2019: Ren Garcia
Artwork of the League of Elder
February 23, 2019
We’ve been at this for what–over ten years now?? In that time, we’ve commissioned a literal ton of artwork from amazing artists all over the world. I created a short YouTube video presenting some (but not nearly all) of the amazing pieces that have helped make The League of Elder what it is today, a deep, ever-growing mythology of words and pictures.
Enjoy!
Bowl Naked: RDG
copyright 2019, Ren Garcia
REN PRESENTS: COMA (1978)
April 11, 2018
I’ve created another podcast, this time I tackle one of my favorite films of all time: 1978’s Coma, directed by Michael Crichton (pre-Jurassic Park).
I’ve discovered how much I love to talk–and podcasting give my silver tongue a place to roost, so to speak.
copyright 2018, Ren Garcia
Syg’s Statue
February 7, 2018
Mounted in a recessed nook at the north end of the Holt Courtyard in the Telmus Grove is a fifteen foot tall statue of Sygillis, the Countess of Blanchefort.
Statue of Countess Sygillis, by Rebecca Sinz
It was put there by the countess’ son, Lord Kabyl when he was thirteen years old. Created in six pieces and smelted in the Blanchefort’s old smithy of wrought iron and copper. It depicts Sygillis wearing her favorite adventuring outfit: a Hospitaler body suit and cape-like shawl. As Lord Kabyl’s father, Captain Davage, often said that the coming of the countess to the House of Blanchefort invigorated it with new life, he symbolized that thought by placing a water jug in the statue’s hand.
The Countess loved the statue, often taking her lunches near it in the courtyard. She even incorporated the water jug into her design logo and Coat of Arms.
It is not known who designed the statue, as Lord Kabyl simply computer scanned the image and had the pieces smelted in an automated factory, leaving the remaining work being to bolt it together. It is believed that Kay’s love, Lady Sammidoran, an accomplished artist, designed the statue all on her own, although it bears a strong resemblance to a statue of the old Vith heroine, Subra of the Mark mounted in her chapel in the castle.
The statue has been stolen on three separate occasions by the countess’ main social nemesis, Duchess Torrijayne of Olyn. It was recovered the first time half submerged in the Withelwell River. On the second occasion, the statue was found in a ballroom at St. Gala’s Veil, the home base of the Ballwigs. The Ballwigs did not wish to part with it, so the countess had to steal back her own statue. On the third occasion, it was found in a school in the city of Rustam, where the children had taken to lobbing eggs and crabapples into the jug for sport.
After that, the countess enchanted the jug, turning it into an StT Pot, that would defend the statue from any further attempts to steal it.
In retaliation, Countess Sygillis defaced the statue of the duchess at her home at Grand Effington Manor. As the duchess was pregnant with her sixth child, the countess altered her statue to be immensely pregnant with milky water shooting from her breasts.
copyright 2018, Ren Garcia and Rebecca Sinz
Covers of the LOE Series
October 9, 2017
We’re up to 12 League of Elder books now, and we’ve pumped out some sweet covers over the years, all by the Queen of the League of Elder, Carol Phillips. A lot of times the artwork gets messed up by my poopy text.
I thought we would review all of the covers naked with no text.
But, before we begin–a quick note of comments. Over 5 or 6 years, this blog has received only a handful of comments. I’d love to hear what you think–do you like these covers? Do you hate them? Say something–let me know all about it.
Book 1–Sygillis of Metatron
The original Book 1 cover by Pat Larsen
Back in 2009 we put out the First LOE Book: Sygillis of Metatron. The original cover wasn’t done by Carol P, it was sketched by Pat Larsen. I used it for about a year, and then was told, in no uncertain terms, that the cover came up short in a number of areas.
I determined that a change was needed. I took to the internet looking for an artist to redo the cover for Book 1.
The very first name that came up on my search was Carol Phillips–fantasy artist. I sent her a note. She responded and it’s been golden ever since. I sent Carol a number of scenes from the book and allowed her to pick which one she wanted to try. Eventually, she settled on the scene in Metatron where Captain Davage is reunited with Syg. I thought the scene needed a little something, so we added Carahil, though, as written, he had already escaped Metatron prior to Syg’s arrival. Little changes that don’t fit in with the narrative are called Nixies. Nixies add a little drama to the scene.
Sygillis of Metatron, revised, by Carol Phillips
Carol’s cover was designed as a front-only image. We used a grab of the city of Metatron for the back cover. Not until Book 9, “Stenibelle”, would we use a front-only design.
Book 2: The Hazards of the Old Ones.
The Hazards of the Old Ones, by Carol Phillips
Book 2 is without a doubt the most metaphysical and pastoral cover of the group. We usually select exact scenes from the various books, this one was more abstract, combining several scenes together as one. We presented it as a wrap-around cover, with the scene extending to the spine and the back cover. I thought that the scene looked best all at once–it lost a lot of impact wrapped around, so we eventually revised the cover to the front only.
Book3: The Dead Held Hands
The Dead Held Hands, by Carol Phillips
Book 3 is the first in the Temple of the Exploding Head trilogy. It carries on the tradition of featuring Carahil on the cover, he has been on all three so far. Carol often places a “surprise” on the spine–in this case it’s Castle Blanchefort in the background. I had to beg Carol for the green flags on the spires of vacant Castle Durst.
Book 4: The Machine
The Machine, by Carol Phillips
Book 4 is one of my favorites. Once again Carahil appears on the cover though he’s a little harder to find. Thomasina 19th appears on the spine. The green cars are actually “cable cars” with cables going all the way up to a vehicle in orbit–though Carol didn’t want to have a cable messing up her artwork, thought it was a “Bob Ross” move. I thought the Princess Marilith vending machine was a nice touch. Carol put her initials “CP” on the dumpster.
Book 5 The Temple of the Exploding Head
The Temple of the Exploding Head, by Carol Phillips
I remember I was on vacation in Florida when we started working on this one. I told Carol to “Go Nuts”. I think the results speak for themselves.
Book 6: Sands of the Solar Empire
Sands of the Solar Empire, by Carol Phillips
Book 6 is the beginning of the Belmont Saga, featuring the intrepid Paymaster Stenstrom. The scene takes place in the Sanctum Sanctorum of the Bones Club. I based the scene off of a Masons lodge that was being torn down–they had a central oculus.
Book 7: Against the Druries
Against the Druries, by Carol Phillips
Book 7 is one of my personal favs. I’ve had a crush on Lady Alesta of Dare for some time., and there she is. I like the drama in the painting. As per usual, one of the giant Cronins appears on the spine.
Book 8: The Shadow tech Goddess
The Shadow tech Goddess, by Carol Phillips
The first book in the Shadow tech Goddess series. I think this is one of the prettiest covers–I like the colors. I also enjoy seeing Hannah-Ben Shurlamp on the cover.
Book 9: Stenibelle
Stenibelle, by Carol Phillips
Book 9 sees a return to a front-only cover. Book 9 also sees Paymaster Stenstrom as a woman in an alternate universe. This one seems to be Carol’s fav cover. She likes the color scheme and the various element, like the flying hookers swooping down to pounce on Stenibelle. Stenibelle, who appears as a man in other books, looks amazing.
Book 10: The House of Bloodstein–Perlamum
The House of Bloodstein: Perlamum, by Carol Phillips
The House of Bloodstein books add a touch of horror to my usual sci-fi/fantasy. The Machine in the background returns from the Temple books. The silver kingfisher is King, a favored character of mine.
Book 11: the House of Bloodstein–Mentralysis
The House of Bloodstein: Mentralysis, by Carol Phillips
This cover features Queen Ghome, one of my favorite bad guys. I just love her. I wanted a really colorful cover, and Carol delivered as usual.
Book 12: The 6th Turn–Kat
The 6th Turn: Kat, by Carol Phillips
A return to the Shadow tech Goddess books. This once deals with an alternate version of Kat, who really developed into a cool character over the various drafts. Carol designed her with a massive Mohawk, which I wrote into the story.
We made a conscious effort to make the Shadow tech Goddess sub-books look the same, so the formatting for this one resembles Stenibelle.
copyright 2017, Ren Garcia and Carol Phillips
LOE Characters: Sam
February 17, 2017
The original painting of Sam by Fantasio. This painting became the standard for all future paintings of Sam
Without question, Lady Sammidoran of Monama (later, of Blanchefort) has been one of my favorite characters since she was introduced way back in Book III: The Dead Held Hands. As such, she’s also the most frequently painted character in my stable. I wanted to bust out a post celebrating her visual history as she has been interpreted by various artists over the years.
As in all things, she started out life very different than how she eventually turned out with lots and lots of sub-steps in between.
A LAUNDRY GIRL:
Sam’s humble original look (Carol Phillips)
Sam started out as a simple servant, a laundry girl toiling away in the bowels of a Calvert Great House. There was nothing extraordinary about her at the time, except that she was rather brawny as a result of her labor-intensive life, and her odd ability to create mental projections known as Killanjo. There was no “Monama” at the time, I hadn’t even thought up the House of Monama yet. That’s how my creative process works, little by little, each thought building on the last. About half way through writing Book III, I realized the direction I had been heading in wasn’t very interesting. Though I hated to do it, a drastic change was needed, and fast. I had created the House of Monama recently, and at a dinner scene there was a Lady Strella of Monama, a friend of Lady Sarah of Blanchefort. I’d written Strella as a sort of Goth, wearing black clothes and black makeup.
Sam, wearing her steampunk goggles, by Eve Ventrue
On a lark, I suddenly flip-flopped plain, ordinary Sam with the much more exotic, gothic Strella. All of a sudden, Sam was the Monama and Stella was on the outs, though I eventually brought her back as a Fleet ship’s captain from the Remnath area of Kana in Book IV. As I created, Sam and her new Monama heritage got stranger with each successive draft.
The pale makeup she’d been wearing previously became her actually skin tone. Her fingernails became deadly claws, in fact the entire House of Monama became an alien species native to Kana with a savage history where they were once four-armed beasts slaying everything in their past.
I continued to create. The brand new alien House of Monama blossomed before my very eyes.
Sam, displaying many features of a Monama–claws, huge eyes, pale skin, massive hair, and no belly-button. She’s wearing her Snugs medallion which protects her from the cold. (Fantasio)
I imagined different tribes of Monamas huddled around their fog-bound ancestral home, Lake Monama. I imagined the Astralons, the Nebulons, the Cardinals and Fphenooks. I came up with the idea the Monamas were fast and strong, much more so than the Elders of the north. I also gave them their greatest weakness, a fatal susceptibility to cold, keeping them based in the south, and I made them very unfit for space-travel, slowly got sick and weakened when away from Kana until they perished.
Remembering my grandmother, I added the White Emilia flower that plays a large role in the Monama mating rituals.
And then I created the beast raging within all of them: the Berserkacide and the Killanjo demons from nowhere that tortured them without pause.
Sam and her husband, Lord Kabyl (Carol Phillips)
In dealing with my German friend, Fantasio, I hit upon the idea that the Monamas don’t speak LC, or “League Common” as a first language. I changed them around to speak a family of Monama languages: Anuie, Conox and Systerel. At the same time, since they were speaking different languages amongst themselves, I figured there might be different types of Monamas as well–Big ones and little ones. I came up with the Greater Monamas, or “Anuians” and the smaller, more frequent Lesser Monamas, or “Conox“. Of course I made my heroine Sam a Greater Monama–having her be little and stringy wouldn’t do.
SAM AND KAY:
Sam has always been associated with Lord Kabyl of Blanchefort, whom she would one day be wed to. Monamas have prophetic powers, Sam dreamed of “Kay” years before he was born in the cold north of Kana. She saw him every night in her dreams. Bucking a Monama tradition of abandoning her dreams by planting a White Emilia flower at the Wailing Wall, the remains of an old Anuian Fortress, Sam clung to them, hoping one day to meet in person and win the heart of this Elder boy whom she loved.
Sam Dead (Fantasio)
Sam, though, was an unwitting pawn of a terrible outlawed being known as the Horned God, and was used by him to frame the saintly god Carahil. After a series of horrific events, Sam died as a Berserkacide, shot to death by her love, Kay. Put to rest in her tomb atop Dead Hill, Kay grieved for her for nearly a year.
But, Sam had foreseen her transformation into a Berserkacide and death. She had taken steps to either prevent the change, or to circumvent it.
Using the arcane Machine, Kay was able to Bring Sam back from the veil of death where they were shortly wed at last.
As they began their life together, Sam discovered that, while she was in her tomb out on Dead Hill, Kay had been seeing other people, and was enraged. That fact that she was dead while this was going on didn’t matter to her–she would have rathered he spend the rest of his long life alone and miserable.
Sam waiting for #6 (Sarah Smith)
Displaying a long-lived jealous streak, Sam grew to hate the woman who dared to conduct a relationship with Kay while she was dead. It was Domeneau of Holly, #6 of the Xandarr 44. As the 44 often came to the Telmus Grove to pray at the statue of Carahil, Sam often found herself out there, waiting for #6 to show.
Hey, nobody’s perfect.
As you can see, Sam has been painted a lot by various artists–this sampling displayed here is hardly all of the materials we’ve collected over the years.
Sam Awakens, by Rebecca Sinz
Sam continues to be one of my personal favorites. I can’t wait to see what further treasures will be created.
Bowl Naked
copyright 2017 Ren Garcia, Fantasio, Carol Phillips, Eve Ventrue, Rebecca Sinz and Sarah Smith
The Liebster Awards
January 29, 2013
I was nominated by my fellow author, the amazingly talented Chantal Boudreau, for the Leibster Award. “What is that?” I asked.
“Dunno,” she said. “Just do it, `kay.” Actually, she didn’t say that, but I just can’t help but tell stories. As you continue reading, I’m clearly one of the must boring humans on the planet.
So, here we go.
The rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you. Thanks, Chantal!
2. Post eleven random facts about yourself.
3. You answer the eleven questions asked by the person who nominated you.
4. You think of a new set of eleven questions and nominate eleven others to answer them.
ELEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT REN (and these are all true)
1)–My folks thought I was “Mentally Challenged” as a lad for my inability to keep up with my studies. My teachers agreed and suggested DRUGS to fix my issues. After two years of mind-altering DRUGS, Darth Vader finally discovered my problem. I came out of the theater crying: “I couldn’t see anything!” I babbled. A trip to the eye-doctor and a pair of glasses later, I was fixed.
2)–I used to play ice hockey, goal tender. I’ve been knocked unconscious three times and the one-and-only time I’ve been in a hockey fight … was with a girl.
3)–A trip to a Turkish Brothel was one of the coolest experiences of my life–not to mention one of the most expensive.
4)–During my time in the Air National Guard, I was inches away from being sucked into the intake of a running F16.
5)–I’ve had a loaded gun shoved into my face twice in my life: once by the FBI and once by the Body Guard of the Prince of Saudi Arabia.
6)–I barely missed the following catastrophic events: The F5 Super-Break-out Tornado of Xenia, Ohio (1 Day), the 1989 Loma-Prieta earthquake: (3 Weeks), and 9/11 (1 Month).
7)–In an abandoned YMCA, I managed to dodge metal girders falling from the crumbling ceiling only to fall into the drained swimming pool in the center of the room.
8)–I was once engaged to a woman 20+ years my senior.
9)–I have a mortal fear of spiders, yet I have a recurring dream of sticking my hand into a tank with a tarantula and letting it bite me.
10)–While cutting through a field on my way home from school, I was chased by an Arabian Horse and bitten in the rear-end as I scrambled under the fence to get away from him. I haven’t liked horses much since.
11)–I’ve been to five places the Ghost Adventurers have been, and I haven’t experienced a thing.
Ok, that was embarrassing, now to Chantal’s questions:
1. What was your favourite childhood show? Gilligan’s Island. Still one of my favs.
2. If you could be a bird, what bird would you be and why? Common Nighthawk–just because the name is cool.
3. What is the best dessert you’ve ever eaten? I’m pretty boring when it comes to deserts. Simple yellow cake with creamy chocolate frosting–or, if I’m feeling frisky, strawberry frosting.
4. If you could pick band line-up for your ultimate concert, who would you have open, follow and headline? I’m totally not into concerts. If I had to pick–Lady Gaga would open for Adam Ant.
5. What would you say is your favourite book outside of your preferred genres? I hate to say it, but I loooove Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I just love it.
6. If you had to sit through the goriest of horror movies of the sappiest of chick-flicks, which would you pick? Gory horror films actually bore me. Probably the goriest film I’ve seen that I enjoyed was John Carpenter’s “The Thing”. My fav Chick’s Flick must be Moulin Rouge by Baz Luhrmann. I actually named the planet Bazz after him.
7. Kirk or Picard? Kirk. Picard’s a $%^^&
8. What is your favourite board game? Talisman by Game’s Workshop. I have all the expansions and they’re worth a fair amount of money these days.
9. If you had your choice, quiet night at home or rowdy night out? Home. I’m not much a of Bar-Guy.
10. What are the top three colours in your wardrobe? Blue, green and white.
11. Have you ever read anything you were expecting to dislike but to your surprise you loved it? Not that I can think of. If I think I’m not going to like something, I pretty much always don’t.
Now comes the hard part–I’m supposed to forward this to 11 more bloggers. Problem is, Chantal knows pretty much the same list of bloggers that I do. I can’t think of 11 more to send to.
Ah me…
The Temple of the Exploding Head 