The Temple of the Exploding Head

NOTE–This blog post has nothing to do with my series of science fiction/fantasy books. This is just something that popped into my head.

I admit it, I bought into Ronda Rousey’s game.

All the talk.

All the hyperbole and vitriol.

Her flippant rapport. Her sass.

Such theatrics caused me to overlook just how magnificent Ronda Rousey is in the cage, her skill and her champion’s heart. It’s like watching the Venus de Milo grow a pair of arms, get in the cage and fight.

I needled her prior to her much-hyped championship match with Miesha “Take Down” Tate. Given her past record, both amateur and pro, it wasn’t really a mystery what Ronda Rousey was going to do: Arm Bar. All day, all night.

“So Ronda,” I chortled, “when Plan A fails for ya’, what are you gonna’ do next?”

Huh, huh? What are you going to do?? What’s Plan B??

Apparently, the answer to that question is: PLAN B: “If Plan A fails, repeat Plan A.”
Repeat, over and over.

I figured that all those quick arm bar victories were won at the expense of some partially trained 0-record girls living out their boyfriend’s dreams by getting into the cage. I figured there was no way she was going to do to Miesha Tate what she did so easily before.

However, I figured wrong. The match with Miesha Tate was, without question, the most tension-filled and dramatic MMA bout I’ve ever seen. A good MMA fight isn’t necessarily a lot of blood and gore–it’s a chess match, move and counter move. From the opening bell, Ronda Rousey attacked, applied pressure and maneuvered Miesha Tate into position to apply her nuclear weapon: the arm bar. It really wasn’t a surprise. Everybody in the arena, including Miesha Tate, knew exactly what she was going to be up to, and when “Take Down” Tate escaped from the first arm-bar attempt and took Ronda Rousey’s back, I rose to my feet and cheered–“That’s it, babe! Game Over! You’re done!” I assumed that was it for Ronda Rousey, her fabled nuclear weapon quashed, I thought Miesha Tate was going to pound her to death … and I couldn’t wait for it.

I sat back, waiting for the carnage to unfold.

However, I learned (as Miesha Tate learned) that although Ronda Rousey has but one tool in the proverbial woodshed, that tool is so utterly sharp and deadly that, were it to fall to earth, it would continue on through the core of the planet and come out again in China and wreak havoc there.

There was no stopping Ronda Rousey. Attack, attack, go to the ground, step over, grab the arm, pull, pull! She’s massive and dense enough to absorb punishment, yet agile and light on her feet, elusive on the ground and always looking to apply the arm bar and lock it in.

And I watched the inevitable happen. The answer to the question “How is “Take Down” Tate going to counter Ronda Rousey’s arm bar?” is “She isn’t. She’ll step into the cage with two arms, and walk out with one.”

The other amazing thing about Ronda Rousey is her use of judo. In comparison to some of the more “in-fashion” martial arts like Brazilian ju-jitsu, judo seems rather dated and quaint. However, in the hands of an Olympic bronze medalist, judo is in fact quite dangerous. Throughout the fight, Ronda Rousey was able to take Miesha Tate off her feet at will, throwing her down into a place that she rules. Add it all together, the size, the density, the agility on the ground and an infallible go-to weapon, I don’t think we’ll be seeing a new bantam weight champion anytime soon.

After the fight, a match with Canadian contender Sarah Kaufman was brought up. Sarah Kaufman, her face marked up and puffy from an earlier fist-flying encounter with Alexis Davis, eagerly accepted the fight.

Hope you don’t mind losing an arm, Sarah.

Bowl Naked

RG